News!

These happy days are yours and mine; Happy days!

Welcome Fresherinos and welcome back Return-a-doodlies! I just feel it in my most cuddly parts that you're eager for GOOD TIMES! I know I am.
Therefore, to aid us in the pursuit of such times, we here at Whit Team HQ have kindly put together a list of our top 5 tips to ensure an excellent year. You may have better ideas, and we encourage you to try them, but these are ours. May all that is awesome... begin!

1. Drink lots of water.
It seems like odd advice, I know. But there exists almost no bad mood, bad feeling or bodily annoyance that isn't caused in some part by dehydration. You will be surprised how much this works.
2. Do things.
This year, actually get involved in stuff. And not just college stuff! Join your local bridge playing club. Organize a rally. Bottle and annotate your farts. Just do things!
3. Be Sheep, but Sheep with Occasional Tourettes.
Going out as a college is the best thing ever. we fill up pubs and have a blast. But always going to the same places sucks. Make sudden and random decisions when going out in large groups.
4. Watch TV.
In the outside world, we take TV for granted. It's always been there for us. But in college, somehow we neglect our faithful friend in favour of sleep, study and the network. Re-connect and feel normal for half an hour by watching some good ol' idiot box.
5. Choose your lunch table at random.
You can eat dinner with your regular friends; the quarter or half the college you usually see. But at lunch, every now and again, roll a dice or toss a coin. Make new friends or enemies.


Green Team edge out Blue in fierce O-Week competition.

In a further decisive move to stamp a green tinge over Whitley College as we begin 2009, the Green Team led by Flip and E.C. have emerged victorious from the O-week festivities.
Raking in the points with their Beach Day, Fashion Parade and Botanic Gardens dominance, Green edged out Blue and held off valient late surges by Purple and Pink to claim this fleeting glory and some pretty sweet Gold Class movie tickets.
Highlights from the week include:
- Ben Sherriff's disturbing but unforgettable performance as Hitler at Southbank skits.
- The man wrapped in newspaper, with his asphyxiated cat.
- The first time the Freshers heard the Fresher dance song at the pub, and all finally realized what it's all about.
- Jeff and Geoff's dance at Toga Party. It was almost a Fresher dance in itself. Amazing. Make sure you get them to show you sometime.
- The Ponding Towels. There's nothing quite like rubbing the college logo all over your naked body to build Whitley pride.
The week was an exhausting success, and much applause goes out to both the whole O-week team behind the scenes and the Freshers for being so enthusiastic.


The Donut is Mouldy

Krispy Kreme garbage bins step aside this week, because there’s a new pest-infected donut growing adhesive green slime in town!
In what can only be described as a last-ditch attempt by administration to more closely resemble either UC or a mating banjo frog for the delight of the incoming roden- I mean Freshers, our beloved nut is getting a makeover.
Apparently sidestepping the Victorian State law against putting lipstick on pigs, Whitley has put eyeshadow on the proverbial wolf as the windows to the Whitley soul are re-painted.
(If you pronounce the “re” in that last sentence like Bugs Bunny, the alliteration is much better).
So has Margie misinterpreted the Enviro rep’s constant requests to make the college more green?
Although, if Maintenance Legend-in-Chief Reuben’s hard work to fix the many newly glued-together windows is anything to go by, it may actually save us on the heating bill.
Student reception to the paint job has been as unremarkable as the colour, with most returning students interviewed agreeing that while it’s hardly something to write a whole Whit article shouting about, it does look better than white.
Word on the street is that because we’re a heritage listed pastry, there were only a set number of colour swatches to choose from. Apparently the other two options were “Intestine Puce” and “Zac Timpano’s Dirty Mi-Goreng Tupperware Bowl”. In that case it was an admirable choice.
“As a first impression to Whitley for the new freshers it’s a lovely hideous sight,” says Vice President Rosanna Powell.
Aren’t we all, Rosie, Aren’t we all?


Editor's Rant

It begins again!
First and foremost let me apologize for how long it’s taken me to get this issue of the Whit out of my computer and into your waste receptacles. It’s been a stressful few weeks for everyone with O-week and Uni, and I’ve had gainful employment and a stage show to contend with also. But we battle on.
The Whit this year, as with every year, is going to reflect its editor. And its editor is very, very ambitious.
However many limitations there may be on what a toilet door magazine can do, it’s fairly clear to me that it can do a lot more than it has been.
To fulfill my wildest ambitions for The Whit though, I need support and this support can come in any number of forms from all of you out there.
For those who can put a few words together, those words are always welcome here. If not, maybe you saw or took a great photo. I trawl Facebook the best I can, but I can only see so much. I can’t be in every lunch conversation to pick up great quotes, or at every pub to catch Downlow contenders. I’m just the editor.
Each of you should aspire in 2009 to have something printed on the back of the toilet door. However small it may be.
It’s up to you guys to help shape what you want in your college rag. Otherwise it’s just 8 pages of my opinions and experiences which I know you hear enough of anyway.
This year, let’s work together to make The Whit something we’re proud of.