We should have them
Women of the Wild West
What is this country coming to?
I look out my collegiate porthole (or “window”) onto the bustling allyway below and see women workers, women voters, even women drivers! But strap on my flares and call me Elvis if I ever thought I’d live to see the day we had women lower west-wingers.
For any of you young whippersnappers reading who may be unaware of certain traditions, the lower part of the purple palace was briefly converted into a male-only corridor to match the female-only corridor above it. Apparently stuff went down around that reckless heyday of the millennium change that required sexual segregation, and, from the little information I have about that time, I can only blame dot-coms and Osama Bin Laden for the debacle.
But my how the bubble has burst and the towers have fallen! Inward crash the barbarians at the gates and gone are the golden mornings when underwear-clad testosterone factories could roam the lavender aisle expelling all manners of bodily gas.
Goodbye, you little chunk of hairy history.
Fresh Tastes Better: Fresher's Fresh and Full of Life!
In this brand new Whit section, we find out what one of the Freshers would taste like if you cooked and ate them, through a series of made-up-on-the-spot questions! This issue's lucky Fresher delicacy is Stu Herben.
Stu, Where are you from?
Anglesea
Mmm, seafood. What are you studying?
Environment at RMIT.
Mmm, cosmopolitan. If you had be doused in one edible liquid...?
Mayonaise.
And finally, if you had to have one terminal disease, which would you have?
Fatal Herpes.
Therefore... Stu tastes like: Calamari
Word on the Street
“Why do I care? I'm Flip!.”
Scotty Mac after the CRD when asked on the way home from the Clyde where Rosie was.
“You look nothing like your photograph.”
The O-Week leaders to Eli. Have a look at Eli's Fresher Photo up on the office wall to find out why this is so funny.
“If God offered to make me hot, I'd decline and ask to be Cal.”
Thanks Werner. That's the kind of attitude that guarantees you a shoutout in The Whit.
“:( ... :O ... ;D ... :)"
The angry, cryptic and emotionally confused message that Tobi sent to the villain who left 2 kilograms of raw meat hidden under his bed. Tobi's room STUNK.
Lol Ca(p)t(ion)s
I hate Lolcats in much the same way I hate Sarah Palin or the economic stimulus bill - I think they're stupid wastes of space. But Ben Zagami and co have requested a caption contest, so blame them. Funniest 2 captions will be published.
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